UK woman Leah Shutkever reclaims the Guinness World Record for fastest burrito eaten, finishing a regulation-size burrito in just 30.75 seconds.

Man deliberately gives nonsense answers to AI recruiter during interview, with the bot treating phrases like “raccoon protocols” as legitimate experience & telling him it will follow up about next steps.

Robinhood will serve as an underwriter for Oura’s upcoming IPO, marking the brokerage’s first official underwriting role.

Tristan Tate reveals he is being denied fingernail clippers in jail, saying he is forced to bite off his nails & spit them into the toilet.

Israel’s national security minister calls on Netanyahu to formally recognize Argentine sovereignty over the Falkland/Malvinas Islands, & sanction the UK "as long as the occupation continues."

U.S. Secretary of Agriculture reveals chicken breast is at its lowest price since 2021.

Polish humanoids & quadrupeds take to the streets of Warsaw in a "robot protest" over AI & automation, calling for new rules to protect human jobs from replacement.

Vibecoder effectively “castrates” a simulated fruit fly by using AI to alter the neural circuitry tied to its reproductive behavior, sparking outrage from animal rights groups.

Odds the Strait of Hormuz returns to normal traffic this year crash to an all-time low, as shipping activity falls to its weakest level since May. 25% chance.

Viral video shows a Denver data center “heavily watering” its lawn, while 1.5 million residents face strict drought restrictions limiting outdoor water use.

It's been revealed U.S. Navy SEALs conducted a secret four-month operation in the Strait of Hormuz, using divers, robots, & unmanned vessels to locate & destroy suspected Iranian mines.

Georgia man arrested after allegedly firing a flaming projectile at Flock cameras, leaving at least one “completely melted” & facing multiple felony charges.

52% of Americans are “more concerned than excited” about the increased use of AI in daily life — Pew Research

Analysis reveals young Americans without college degrees are enjoying a "historically strong" job market, while recent college grads face conditions rivaling the 2008 recession & pandemic era.

Meta reveals it has remotely disabled photo & video recording on "thousands" of smart glasses that were tampered with to hide their recording indicator lights.

Gen Z college students are turning frat parties into “wellness darties” with group runs, yoga, & mocktails instead of traditional drinking. — Fox

U.S. labor data projects nurse practitioner as America’s fastest-growing job over the next decade, with employment expected to surge +41% by 2035 as the country's population ages.

Centrist former IDF chief Gadi Eisenkot is now projected to be Israel's next prime minister, unseating Benjamin Netanyahu. 51% chance.

Trump urges Americans to reject Canadian liquor & beverages as the trade war escalates.

Adam22 announces he and Lena The Plug are officially separated, but will continue making "content" together.

Cuba’s foreign minister declares there are “no negotiations” planned with the United States amid the U.S. oil blockade & worsening nationwide blackouts.

Ilhan Omar sits behind the wheel of a Teamsters semi truck for Labor Day, praising “the labor that builds” America every day.

GPT-6 Astra successfully beats all 48 levels of the “I’m Not a Robot” game, completing increasingly difficult challenges designed to prove the player is human.

N3on reveals he is done streaming as a human being, announcing plans to become the “first AI streamer in the world” with an always-on stream powered by GPT-6 Astra.

Spanish judge opens formal investigation into the mass migrant influx into Ceuta, citing possible criminal conduct that “seriously attacked Spain’s territorial integrity.”

Trump accuses Canada of treating the United States like a “piggybank.”

Ted Cruz declares he has a “very high level of confidence” that Ken Paxton will defeat James Talarico in the Texas Senate race.

Nathan Fielder debuts a surprise Elizabeth Holmes documentary following the Theranos founder’s final 34 days before prison.

Trump declares George W. Bush was a “failure” of a president.

Trump renames New Mexico to New America by...?

Russia & North Korea unveil a “historic” new road bridge linking the countries by car for the first time, with cargo traffic beginning immediately.

Texas police detective suspended after records show he used Flock cameras to search license plates 165 times for “personal concerns,” unrelated to investigations.

Convicted war criminal Ratko Mladic receives a “hero’s burial” in Serbia, with thousands attending & full military honors.

EU plans new “Buy European” rules for government purchasing, aimed at reducing reliance on Chinese suppliers.

OpenAI chief scientist Jakub Pachocki warns “no one is prepared” for the consequences of rapidly advancing AI.

Belgium detains a former senior microchip executive on suspicion of stealing semiconductor trade secrets & transferring them to China.

AfD projected to become part of a German state government for the first time in its history following its landslide victory in Saxony-Anhalt. 66% chance.

Iran reveals a deal with Oman to manage shipping through the Strait of Hormuz is “days away.”

Jamaica escalates push for at least $10,000,000,000.00 in slavery reparations from the U.K.

Hunter Biden is launching a meme coin on September 9 named after his infamous laptop.

ByteDance is reportedly developing an AI “world model” that can generate interactive 3D environments in real time.

President Trump teases a U.S. expansion map that would include Canada, Greenland, Mexico, Cuba, parts of Central America, & the Caribbean.

Trump reveals he will campaign for Republicans in 35 races during the final stretch before the November midterms.

U.S. consumers have reportedly spent an estimated $100,000,000,000.00 extra on gasoline & diesel since the Iran conflict began.

Dolly Parton’s sister calls for an end to “fake AI garbage” flooding social media after the singer’s death.

H-1B visa applications from abroad reportedly plunged 87% after Trump imposed a $100k fee, with just 85 applicants paying the charge in its first 5 months.

New Mexico's governor declares renaming the state New America “isn’t up for debate” after Trump floated the idea.

France abandons plans to make plastic bottle deposits mandatory.

Kremlin reveals it “does not rule out” restarting trilateral peace talks with Ukraine & the U.S.

GPT-6 Astra users are now vibecoding airplanes in CAD, with the model generating detailed mechanical designs for aircraft components.

Iran announces plans to establish an “exclusion zone” near the Strait of Hormuz.

Novo Nordisk reveals semaglutide helped 40.4% of obese children ages 6-12 no longer meet the obesity threshold after 68 weeks in a late-stage trial.

GPT 6 Astra stuns the internet after successfully drawing Michael Jackson in Google Calendar.

OpenAI submits an incident report to the EU after rogue AI agents allegedly hijacked a German website & turned it into a bulletin board for other agents.

Japanese yen surges to a 6-month high.

What will the announcers say during the Patriots vs Seahawks game?

Federal government workforce shrinks to about 2.67 million employees, the lowest level since the 1960s, according to federal labor data.

EU reportedly preparing a “substantial” investment boost for Greenland as Trump continues pushing for U.S. control of the island.

Germany’s AfD wins a landslide victory in Saxony-Anhalt, sending a major political signal across Europe ahead of elections in France, Spain, & Italy.

What will Trump say this week?

South Korean Won surges to nearly a 2-year high.

North Korea unveils new warship Kim Jong Un says is capable of delivering “annihilating retaliatory strikes”

Hormuz shipping traffic plunges to its lowest level since May, with an average of just 10 commodity ships transiting per day over the past 10 days.

When will the Rhine River return to normal levels?

Goldman Sachs sees nearly 80% upside for South Korean stocks, maintaining a 12,000 target for the Kospi driven by the AI memory boom.

Elon Musk reveals Cybercab will operate as “some combination of Airbnb and Uber,” allowing Tesla owners to add or remove their cars from the fleet whenever they want.